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A hero one minute, demonised the next, Mark Philippoussis knows how to stir things up. In his own words the tennis star reveals what he thinks about life on tour, lonliness and the controversies that dog him.
It's tough for people to know what I'm like. I'm a big guy. I think a lot of people misinterpret me and don't approach me because I look intimidating. You know, I'm 6 foot five [196 centimetres]. But I'm pretty easy-going and not much offends me. I'm very quiet, actually, and I'm very shy off the court. I do what I have to do on the court and I like being in front of a crowd. But off the court, away from tennis, I like doing my own thing. I like being away from the crowds.
I've definitely been in the category of when people love me, they love me and when they don't, they don't. But perhaps it's unfair to say that. You never know what the public are thinking. The public have been really good to me - they've been on my side - especially lately. I think it's more the media making me a hero one day and putting me down the next.
You see, I know what I do. I give 110 per cent on the court all the time. I do my job as well as I can - it's as simple as that. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person who holds everything in. It's definitely not good. I don't say anything at all. I just hold it in all the time. A lot of the time I do work things out myself but sometimes I talk to my family or my best friend. I certainly wouldn't go to a shrink. I could never see myself doing that.
However, I never respond to criticism. Everyone can say whatever they want about me. Everyone's got their own opinion and they're free to speak. IF they think that's the right thing to say, great, say it. No one likes negative things being said about them but I do think things like that make you stronger and ti shows how other people are. It brings out their true colours so it doesn't really matter to me. I've never responded and I never will. I think I'm above them. If I have a problem with someone, I'll say it to their face. I don't really care what people think. I do my own thing. I love my family and I love my friends. My true friends and my family know what kind of person I am and they love me. And that's all that matters to me.
Family for me is the first thing in my life. I'm a loyal person. I have a group of friends I trust. I have been hurt but you learn from that. You get to know who your real friends are and that's a good thing. Winning is important, of course. I want to achieve my goals, but, really, my family's health is the No. 1 think for me. My family, my friends - they're No. 1 and always will be. I'm so much more in control of my like than I have been in the past, that's for sure. I'm still learning every day. I've been on the tour for 10 years and I've learnt that the tour can definitely be a lonely place at times. In fact, I often feel lonely, It's not easy. When you first get on the tour, everything's exciting, new and the traveling is fun. But since then, I've been through a lot: three surgeries and I'm only 27. I feel like I've been through a lot more than most people my age. The tour matures you quickly.
I had fun when I was young and I have no regrets about what I did. I had a lot of fun and I got all that stuff out of my system. If anyone else had the opportunities that I had, they would have done exactly the same thing - the cars, the partying. Any kid would have done it if they could. But, you know, I had my fun and now that's it. Now I know what's important to me. Maybe if I hadn't done all that stuff, I wouldn't know exactly what I want.
Now I just like to enjoy myself. I don't like alcohol and I've done that whole going-out late thing. In fact, I've never liked alcohol. When I've gone out, I've drunk a little but that's just because I'm out, not because I enjoy drinking. I never, ever drink beer. I guess that's a bit un-Australian but I don't mind. These days, I'd rather just stay home with my sister or my best friend or my goddaughter and watch a video. I love watching movies - I'm a movie buff. When I'm in America, I go to the cinema a lot. My favorite films are action or action/comedy. But I also like a good drama or suspense. I just love movies full stop. Ever since I was a little kid, I've always loved them.
Basically, when I'm off the court, I want to keep to myself and spend time with my friends. I like to be away from cameras and my privacy is so important. Once I'm off the court, I think I'm entitled to my privacy. I understand that on the court and around the court, I've got to take it because it comes with the job. But off the court? I take my privacy seriously. That's why a lot of the time it's tough for me to relax. I'd like to hang out more in Australia but I just can't. I've got to go to America and that's so frustrating as I don't get to see my mother and my sister much. It's tough to have a private life and, whether I like it or not, I'm always in the public eye. It's been like that for a long time now. I'm used to it but at the same time it gets old and frustrating.
A lot has been said and written about my personal life but I don't talk about it. My personal life is my personal life but what I will say is that I'm happy. I think I'm at a good place in my life. A grand slam title will make my life a little better but I'm happy. In the future I know I'm going to have a family. I have no doubts about that. For me, having a family and kids is what it's all about. But right now, I've got tennis and that grand slam is what I'm aiming for. I've definitely got some time to do the family thing and when it happens, it happens.
Tennis is one of the rare sports where it's just one-on-one. And you've always got a chance to win. I love that. It's definitely a tough life, though. A lot of people think the tour is glamorous - I wouldn't say that at all. They don't realize that I life out of a suitcase. I go from one airport to another airport and then on to a hotel. Then I go to the courts and if I lose I'm straight back to the hotel, pack up and on to the next tournament. And unlike a lot of other sports - football, basketball, baseball - we don't have an off-season. We play all the way through. It's tough.
I train an hour and a half to two hours a day on the court and then do some fitness. I'd rather be on the court for one hour and train extremely hard than hand out on the courts for two hours. I want to get on the court for one hour, do my thing and then get off to do whatever I want to do. I have high expectations of myself. I'm pretty hard on myself, especially if I'm not hitting the ball well. A lot of people are like that, I guess, but I think being hard on myself is a good thing. Obviously you've got to take things into consideration - if I'm injured, I can't expect to be playing great tennis - but I think I expect more of myself than I should at certain times.
I love my life but I'd love to be in one place more than I am. I've just moved back to Florida - it's easier for me there. I love the weather as it's great for training. A couple of days training there and it makes it easier to play somewhere else because it's never going to be as humid and as hot.
I've got a ranch there with two tennis courts. My dad lives there and my dogs are there, too. I've got six dogs - they're Pomeranians. There's a mother, a father and four babies. I can tell them apart. I love them to death and they're like my own little family. Hopefully, I'll have a good life with my family when I retire. That's what I'm working so hard for. I want it to pay off.
I think I'll retire in four or five years. There are things I want to do in tennis and I figure I've got four or five years to do that. I want to be there in my 30s. I don't know what I want to do after tennis but when the time comes, I'll know. I've got a few things floating around in my mind. I'm definitely not the kind of person who will do nothing. But I do know I won't be working until I'm 70, that's for sure! I'm not sure that I could play another sport. I definitely don't think I have the patience to walk around playing golf all day. You know, I've wanted to be a pro tennius player since I was eight years old.
It's tough to say what else I could do. But, I've always want to act, ever since I was a little kid, so that's definitely something I want to pursue when my tennis career is over. I don't mind being in front of a camera and I love movie so much. I haven't had any acting classes or anything - unfortunately I haven't had the time. But we'll see. I will have time for that one day.
The thing is, I have no idea where I'll be in five years. I've stopped looking ahead. The last time I looked ahead I ended up having three surgeries so I'm not going down that path again. I try not to think about my injuries too much. I've had a bad run and it has been tough but I think that everything happens for a reason: that happened to test my character. Not a lot of people have had three knee surgeries, or three surgeries in the one place, and gone back on the tour.
When the doctor's told me I'd never play tennis again, I didn't say anything. They were the top knee surgeons in New York who looked at my x-rays and my MRIs [magnetic resonance imaging] and they told me I'd never play professional tennis again. What can you do? I was obviously very upset and depressed as I knew I had to be in a wheelchair for two and a half to three months. But then a week went by, then two weeks, and I thought, 'You know what? I'm going to prove them wrong. I'm going to work twice as hard.' And I did. It's just made me stronger. I have gone through a lot to come back but I'm very stubborn and I'm not going to stop until I achieve everything I want to achieve. Once I do that, I'll be happy to stop.
I love hearing stories about people who have come from nothing and built a huge franchise or opened up a chain of restaurants or juice places. I love hearing stuff like that because I have a lot of respect for people who have come from nothing and succeeded. And you know, I think I've done that, too. I've worked extremely hard - much more than people would imagine - to get where I am. I've had a few stop signs and detours along the road but there's this big mountain there and I want to be at the very top of it before I have finished my tennis career. The top of the mountain is definitely a grand sla and I'd like to give No. 1 a shot, too. I think I've got everything it takes. There's no reason I can't be world No. 1.
Ten years of doing a sport like tennis, you come off the tour and it doesn't feel like you've been doing it for 10 years - it feels like you've been doing it for 25 years. Your body's beaten up and gone through a lot of things. You just learn a lot about yourself and your character. One thing's for sure: I have no regrets. No regrets at all.
